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Look who’s talking!

Submitted by on Sunday, 1 June 2008 No Comment

Originally  published March 22, 2007, thehive.modbee.com

For me, the most exciting stage of development is speech.

Sure, walking is a big thing, but a toddler still seems like a baby, strolling around with that chubby little diaper-butted waddle.

Once they’re talking, though, they stop being your baby and turn into a tiny person. A person who can clearly communicate wants, needs and moods, which can be good and bad.

Little Guy has been a pretty good communicator all along. He was only about eight months old when he started pointing and grunting at the fruit bowl on the kitchen table. Primitive, but he made his point.

But now he’s turning into quite a blabbermouth.

No surprise there. My grandfather was a blabbermouth, my dad is a blabbermouth, my brother is a blabbermouth, Big Guy is a blabbermouth and, while not in their league, I can hold my own.

With that gene pool, no wonder Little Guy chatters incessantly. Problem is, I have no clue what he’s saying 90 percent of the time. When he starts his excited mile-a-minute blabbing, I just nod and reply with an enthusiastic “I know,” praying I haven’t just agreed to buy him a pony.

He can manage to say the important words quite clearly: Mommy, Daddy, more, mine. 

Then comes the second tier, mangled but understandable: El for the stuffed elephant he can’t bear to be without, kank oo for “thank you,” Keen for Lightning McQueen and “be beyon” for “to infinity, and beyond!”

Can you tell which Disney toys Big Guy has? 

Next is the “not the right word, but I get it” tier: “bus” for anything with wheels that’s bigger than our car, “kitty” for anything with four legs, “hello” for telephone.

And when he whispers “back,” it means “I love you.” That comes from our favorite bedtime story, “Guess How Much I Love You.”

The book closes with Big Nutbrown Hare whispering “I love you right up to the moon and back” to his son, and I’ve always read it in a whisper. 

This whole talking thing should be good for several more years of amusement. With Big Guy, once I got past the ”oh my God, he said a REAL word” stage, the real entertainment started.

I’m not talking about the normal 3-year-old manglage — skabetti and macamoki and cheese. I’m talking about using a perfectly good word in the perfectly wrong way. Those are the times you’re laughing so hard your ribs are near rupture, but you don’t dare do it out loud because you don’t want to hurt feelings.

My top five in recent months:

5. “I have an ear reflection.”

4. “Daddy, do you need your tuna and ant with your guitar?” Is Phish looking for a new member?

3. “You make me happy when skies are grape.” He is a Central Valley native, though, so maybe he’s thinking vineyards.

2. “Are we going to Tortured Supply?” Obviously he’s developing Daddy’s attitude toward yard work.

1. “Pastor can’t come to my class next week. He’s going to a commotion.”

Come to think of it, that’s a pretty good description for many conventions I’ve been to.  

Copyright 2007 Debra Legg. All rights reserved.

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