A brown belt for Big Guy – not that it’s important
Mon, 12/03/12 – 12:49 | Comments Off

It was testing week in karate and, as usual, Big Guy was under the gun. Not as much as he used to be, when he didn’t have a clue and had to frantically cram, but …

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Picky eaters and allergy-safe cooking — the two aren’t necessarily unrelated.

Girl Gone Wonk

From policy to politics, this rant’s for you.


The day’s events in a family way — unless something else amuses me.

School days

From preschool to kindergarten — so far

Simple Gifts

Inexpensive homemade gifts, creative parties and low-cost projects, for Christmas and beyond. Many are easy enough for children to help.

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Articles tagged with: TV

Educational TV – um, maybe not
Monday, 2 Mar, 2009 – 1:23 | 6 Comments
Educational TV – um, maybe not

So you know those “music-focused developmental tools to stimulate babies’ brains”? Or the other DVD series that helps teach “problem solving, listening, classifying and concept awareness” to kids who can’t even crawl?
Turns out, those claims …

A SWAT for a bill that solves an imaginary TV problem
Friday, 20 Feb, 2009 – 0:48 | 2 Comments
A SWAT for a bill that solves an imaginary TV problem

Attention, Billy Mays: I’d rub two sticks together and flame-broil a burger before I’d ever buy a Big City Slider “station.” With two small children, I  hear enough  yelling every day without you screaming at …

A Wubbulous way to start the day
Friday, 2 Jan, 2009 – 10:53 | 2 Comments
A Wubbulous way to start the day

Boots flew at me with tears streaming, end-of-the-world angst written across his face.
“Momma!” — they call me Momma mainly when they want something. “He says I can’t be Wubbzy, and I wanna be Wubbzy. I’m …

Oh … er, shoot. Potty-mouth TV an issue for the Supremes
Wednesday, 5 Nov, 2008 – 12:23 | Comments Off
Oh … er, shoot. Potty-mouth TV an issue for the Supremes

Disclaimer: I can cuss like a sailor. Probably better than some. A roommate and I once formulated the ultimate swear word, a compilation that would have made George Carlin blush. We could roll it off …

9to5to9: It’s a Wubbzy world — I just live in it
Tuesday, 29 Jul, 2008 – 6:00 | Comments Off
9to5to9: It’s a Wubbzy world — I just live in it

I’ve torted turtles and iced engines. That’s how you know the guys are serious about a relationship with a fictional character — they want it immortalized in frosting.
So when I asked Little Guy what cake …

Baby Borrowers” reality show not really funny when you consider the kids
Sunday, 15 Jun, 2008 – 7:07 | Comments Off

If NBC still is looking for candidates for the cast of “Baby Borrowers,” I have two I’d be happy to loan them.

Come, teens, spend a few hours with my guys! Try to eat lunch as they clamor for more juice, more milk, more cheese. Attempt to bathe as they bang on the door. Plead with them to go sleep so your dead-dog tired self can speed through dishes and decluttering in hopes of snoozing more than four hours.

I’ll even let you have my house for the duration. It’s not as nice as that one NBC loaned you, but after a while, you get used to the chocolate-milk crunch as you walk across the carpet. You’ll have to pay the rent and bills, though.

Doesn’t sound like a lot of fun, eh?

That’s what The

Batman wins the super hero smackdown
Monday, 2 Jun, 2008 – 5:13 | Comments Off

For about six months, there’s been a Super Hero smackdown at our house.

SpiderMan was the early winner, claiming the Halloween costume contest in October. Then Superman pulled ahead, as flying trumped web-slinging.

Now there’s a new favorite, courtesy of a long-forgotten trinket from a fast-food meal almost a year ago.

“Hey, Mom!” Big Guy yelled after a rousing session of toy-box trashing unearthed the toy. “Look! It’s Batman! I love him.”

Good. Because I’m crazy about him, too.

Batman, you see, is the only real Super Hero. The others rely on supernatural powers – emphasis on super, not natural – bestowed either on a strange planet or by dumb luck.

“Wife Swap” and the chaos of the middle path
Sunday, 1 Jun, 2008 – 21:18 | Comments Off

I would love to let Jennifer Galvan take over my house for a week, if for no other reason than to titter as the Clutter Beast cowered in a now-immaculate closet.

And I’d enjoy a visit from Melissa Martin-Portala, because it’s always nice to have a refresher in the joys of childhood, to see people play with the guys in ways I’ve either never thought of or forgotten in the midst of the day-to-day grind.

Galvan, a Modesto working mom was sent to the Martin-Portala household in Toledo, Ohio, where the whole family supports dad’s career as a magician. The results will air tonight on the television show “Wife Swap.”

I suspect I could learn a lot from both women. But could

My Sponge Bob epiphany
Sunday, 1 Jun, 2008 – 20:53 | Comments Off

I’m a strange person with a strange collection of interests – from baseball to cake decorating, computers to crafting. I even developed a passing appreciation for NASCAR while living in North Carolina. Not that you can help it there – you practically pick it up through osmosis.

There are a few things in life, though, that I’ve always hated no matter how hard I try. Tomato juice. Horror movies. And “SpongeBob Squarepants.”

Just my luck Big Guy would wind up a fan.

Dad started this by buying Big Guy a DVD back in January after Big Guy kept crawling in bed with him to watch the cartoon. Unfortunately, Dad’s now sick of the “absorbent and yellow and porous” cartoon character. I’d laugh, except his Sponge Bob fatigue means

The end of the tubeless life
Sunday, 1 Jun, 2008 – 20:24 | Comments Off

Originally published July 8, 2007, thehive.modbee.com   

 The cable box in the living room has been out for almost three months and, to tell the truth, I’m thrilled.

The guys had fallen into the habit of gazing goggle-eyed all evening at The Electronic Box of Enlightenment.

The second the cable was gone, presto! They went back to playing outside, “reading” their books and giving me more help than I really need with dinner.

Then last week, the DVD player joined the cable box in the electronic graveyard – either a baby-sitter or Big Guy broke it. The stories keep changing. Once I got over my extreme agitation at the loss of a very expensive piece of equipment, I was euphoric.

Hallelujah! My fantasy of a TV-free life was coming true.

Dear God, what was I thinking?


If Sanjaya wins …
Sunday, 1 Jun, 2008 – 19:29 | Comments Off

When Ruben “Motown Mojo” Porras, one of my Bee “American Idol” partners, emailed me about KHOP deejay Geno Knight’s If Sanjaya Wins Web site, my first reaction was a throw-away line.

If Sanjaya wins, I’ll let the kids eat birthday cake for breakfast. No chance of either happening, of course.

I checked out the site after I got home and was laughing so hard my husband actually quit watching ESPN for a few minutes.

“If Sanjaya wins, I will pack up my children’s bag and send them to Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch for blanket’s surprise b-day slumber party,” wrote Michael from Rio De Janeiro, Brazil.

“If Sanjaya wins, I will sit and watch ‘Glitter’ everyday for a year,” pledged Rick from California.

“If Sanjaya wins, I will join the Sunnis and Shiites in holding hands and singing kumbaya,” vowed Mike from Des Moines, Iowa.

And then I stopped. Because I remembered that the tall, gangly pony-hawk wearing butt of everyone’s jokes is somebody’s little boy. What if that were my kid? Could he take it? Could I take it?

The electronic box of enlightenment
Sunday, 1 Jun, 2008 – 19:17 | Comments Off

Once upon a time, in a land long ago with only two broadcast channels that you had to get off the couch to change, there lived a sad little girl. Her family had a television – color, even! – but cartoons were confined to Saturday mornings and a half-hour weekday afternoons.

It was a miserable existence in a desolate land.

The child was forced to set up a play kitchen, from which she prepared scrumptious air cakes. In the summer, she and her friends were reduced to performing backyard concerts – complete with choreography and costumes — for afternoons on end. And as night fell, Red Rover would hold dozens of children hostage in front yards, the torture ending only when parents forced the pitiful creatures indoors.