I’ve always said that Boots would be better off in a dance class than on a sports team, because he’s turned every game he’s ever been involved in into a recital. If  I could find …

Wear shoes that you can run in on Monday, Big Guy’s soccer coach told me late last week. The parents are going to play the kids during practice.
Me? I asked with mock shock. Oh, I …

How can the kid who can’t find his shoes in the morning lock his eyes onto a soccer ball as if they were guided by a laser?
Why is it that the boy who routinely turns …

Baseball is my native language, but I’m fluent in basketball, football and figure skating.
I can hold a conversation in NASCAR fake my way through several other sports, including hockey and golf. It’s the equivalent of …

She had the same reaction I did when she went to the pre-season meeting for soccer parents and found out that her 4-year-old’s team didn’t have a coach: This will never work.
The director assured everyone …

Have you ever had the bad luck to be good at something you don’t like doing?
It happened to me once, between my sophomore and junior years in college. I’d accepted a summer internship as a …

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
I cannot change soccer snacks. Well, technically speaking I suppose I could if I …

Other than spinning around MarioKart-style on the court every time he gets bumped, Boots is just not that into soccer. Which is fine with me, because his spins are kind of cute. They play on …

Big Guy came off the court Saturday with a predictable grumble: “I didn’t score a single goal. Not one stinkin’ goal. I barely got to kick the ball.”
I’d warned him about that, telling him that …

The occasional late fee aside, you rarely get to see the cost of procrastination other than in the price of the mental stress it creates.
Lucky for me, I now have a cash register tape that …

For years, Boots dreamed of joining Big Guy on that glorious place called the soccer field.
He ran onto the grass in the middle of practice. He threw  tantrums so horrific he was banned from going …

What started in August under a blazing summer sun ended yesterday … well, under a blazing summer sun. I’m accepting that as compensation for the rainy, cold game earlier this season.
It was wonderful getting to …

I was naive enough last season to be shocked the first time I saw it: A Dad reeling off dollar bills after a soccer game, one for each goal his son had scored.
I mentioned it …

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! Oh, wait! There’s a soccer game going on, too.
Note to Big Guy: Those things with nets at either end of the field — they’re not actually canopy beds. Maybe …

Dodged the rain again! Didn’t dodge the Halloween hangover, though. Little Guy’s so sick of sweets he didn’t even want post-game Oreos. And this after spending all season trying to mooch the team’s snacks.
Play of …

Week 6? When did that happen?
We’re headed toward bye week. I think I’ll send Big Guy to practice even if there is none. I like seeing him sack out on the couch, exhausted, and …

A cold and windy Soccer Saturday.

How cold was it? After much initial protest, Big Guy finally admitted he was glad he has his jacket. Little Guy hid out under the blanket the whole game. And turtle necks, long sleeves and gloves were everywhere.

It’s not supposed to be this chilly in early October.

Last August, I didn’t give Reticent Kid’s soccer career more than a week, two max.

He cried through the first practice. Second practice there weren’t as many tears, but he pretty much was epoxied to his mom for the hour.

He cried through the first game. Even when he was playing goalie, which is the favorite position of reticent young’uns, because they get what to do. That and the goal makes a great pretend tent/fort/castle if you’re tired of watching everyone run away from you.

The second game, he protested a bit before standing gamely in at goalie. His mom stayed near him, offering reassurance.

And by the end of the game, he had a huge smile.

How’d you do that? I asked his mom.

It was a dark and stormy morning.
Seriously, it was.
To which Big Guy said, “Soccer in the rain? All right!” To which Little Guy said, repeatedly. “Want it to be over. Wanna go home.” You just …

Serious strategic error in signing up for soccer snacks this season: I was too far away from the coach’s wife when the sheet went around and I’m stuck with a November game.
Tragically, that’s near the …

There are two kinds of aggressive in life.
There’s the kind that’s hard-charging and relentless, but fair.
Then there’s the kind that plays dirty if someone gets in the way.
Big Guy and his teammates ran into the …

* The yellow and black uniforms do make them look like a swarm of bumblebees. And they’re about as organized, too.
* Big Guy did OK for himself — three goals on the day, including …

It’s early in Big Guy’s soccer season — only three practices so far and the first game’s not until Saturday — and I hate to rush to judgment, but I’m ready to declare my team …

Confession: I am butt over elbows in love with a married man. One with four kids, no less.
His wife knows, too. In fact, she called today to arrange a rendezvous.
“”Hey, Debra, this is Kim from …

They first gathered under a blazing August sun, eight kids new to soccer, plus one “experienced veteran”
That practice sank disorganization to a whole new level, as kids darted here and there, grasping many blades of …

Confession: I am butt over elbows in love with a married man. One with four kids, no less.

His wife knows, too. In fact, she called today to arrange a rendezvous.

“”Hey, Debra, this is Kim from soccer. We just wanted to let you know that you’re going to be on our team again this year.”"

Yes, yes, YES!!!!

Oh, and Big Guy’s happy about it, too. He loves Coach Joey almost as much as I do. Though it’d been eight months since soccer season ended, Big Guy dang near knocked Coach Joey on his can when we ran into him and his family at a baseball game in July. Some folks you just never forget.

And someone like Coach Joey you remember for all the

Big Guy might or might not have scored his first goal Saturday. It’s been a raging controversy in our house for the past 30-some hours.
The facts to which Big Guy Sr. and I agree:
Big Guy …