A brown belt for Big Guy – not that it’s important
Mon, 12/03/12 – 12:49 | Comments Off

It was testing week in karate and, as usual, Big Guy was under the gun. Not as much as he used to be, when he didn’t have a clue and had to frantically cram, but …

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Food

Picky eaters and allergy-safe cooking — the two aren’t necessarily unrelated.

Girl Gone Wonk

From policy to politics, this rant’s for you.

News

The day’s events in a family way — unless something else amuses me.

School days

From preschool to kindergarten — so far

Simple Gifts

Inexpensive homemade gifts, creative parties and low-cost projects, for Christmas and beyond. Many are easy enough for children to help.

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Articles tagged with: Humor

Heaven help me, we’ve entered the Hot Wheels era
Thursday, 8 Jul, 2010 – 10:13 | One Comment
Heaven help me, we’ve entered the Hot Wheels era

Just when I thought three tubs of tank engine track was as bad as it was going to get, along comes the next menace: Hot Wheels.
It’s not that we’ve never had Hot Wheels – the …

Overpack and hope for the best
Tuesday, 6 Jul, 2010 – 10:14 | One Comment
Overpack and hope for the best

Coloring books: New and unsullied, accompanied by a fresh pack of crayons. Check.
MP3 players: Charged, with new songs loaded. Check.
Snacks: Enough to cover the midnight munchies plus breakfast the next day because the chances are …

If you serve it, they will eat. Eventually.
Wednesday, 30 Jun, 2010 – 14:29 | 2 Comments
If you serve it, they will eat. Eventually.

In the past month, Big Guy has proclaimed fish sticks “delicious” and watermelon “yummy.” He’s swooned over apple cobbler and eaten a rainbow-colored salad packed with greens, tomatoes, zucchini and carrots. He wasn’t wild about …

Beware the player
Tuesday, 29 Jun, 2010 – 13:52 | Comments Off
Beware the player

Due largely to the fact that Best Friend was watching and he didn’t want to lose face, Boots agreed to get in the pool the first day of swim class. He wouldn’t consent to go …

When your kid can kick your butt
Tuesday, 22 Jun, 2010 – 14:25 | Comments Off
When your kid can kick your butt

Given that Big Guy was fearlessly toddling to the top of tall structures by the time he was 14-months-old, I’ve long known that the day would come when he would surpass me athletically.
I didn’t expect …

The toys have changed but the game’s the same
Friday, 18 Jun, 2010 – 14:59 | 3 Comments
The toys have changed but the game’s the same

These kids  just don’t know how easy they have it.
Back in the day when I was walking four miles to the bus stop, up hill both ways, I needed a radio, a tape recorder, cassettes, …

No hablo futbol
Monday, 14 Jun, 2010 – 11:48 | One Comment
No hablo futbol

Baseball is my native language, but I’m fluent in basketball, football and figure skating.
I can hold a conversation in NASCAR fake my way through several other sports, including hockey and golf. It’s the equivalent of …

You call it Mom Hair. I call it extra sleep
Thursday, 10 Jun, 2010 – 13:46 | Comments Off
You call it Mom Hair. I call it extra sleep

It used to happen every time I went to the salon:  The stylist would manhandle my unruly mop into a sleek, fashionable ‘do. She’d lament that I never fix it that way myself, assuring me …

Thank heaven Mrs. M has a great bread pizza recipe
Wednesday, 2 Jun, 2010 – 12:39 | Comments Off
Thank heaven Mrs. M has a great bread pizza recipe

I was there for the preparation but had to leave before the feast began, so I was curious to hear Big Guy’s reaction to the lunch that was part of his end-of-school party.
“Oh. My. God,” …

Setting your own sentence
Tuesday, 18 May, 2010 – 13:21 | Comments Off
Setting your own sentence

Mom-meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Big Guy tooked my glowie, Boots shrieked down the stairs as his brother ran behind him waving the coveted chem light.
Is that his? I asked Big Guy, though I was pretty sure that Boots’ …

What’s in your camera bag?
Monday, 17 May, 2010 – 15:18 | Comments Off
What’s in your camera bag?

The problem with cameras is that they’re getting to be more like computers.
The problem with me is my Palovian response to any shiny object with a chip in it.
The problem with the guys is that …

And Boots stood still
Friday, 7 May, 2010 – 10:47 | Comments Off
And Boots stood still

(With apologies to Karma Wilson, whose “Bear” series is one of our favorites.)
When Big Guy got his yellow, he was one euphoric fellow.

Boots thought karate looked fun so he begged his mom a ton.

But Boots …

When dirt turns into a dust devil
Thursday, 6 May, 2010 – 13:39 | Comments Off
When dirt turns into a dust devil

I have no problem with dirt. In fact, I much prefer to time spent in front of a screen. Once the weather warms, I even like dirt as long as it stays outside where it’s …

The mountain that had to be climbed
Tuesday, 4 May, 2010 – 14:11 | 2 Comments
The mountain that had to be climbed

Big Guy had expected me to say “no,” because that’s what I’ve always said when he’s asked. It’s too windy, too cold, too hot. It wasn’t too hard to come up with excuses.
Saturday, though, he …

Neon orange, the new good luck omen
Thursday, 29 Apr, 2010 – 13:31 | Comments Off
Neon orange, the new good luck omen

I should know by now not to let the guys have any say in my makeup – the results usually turn me into a clown or a punk rocker.
For some reason, though, nail polish amuses …

If you keep at it, you will win. Sort of.
Tuesday, 27 Apr, 2010 – 13:28 | 2 Comments
If you keep at it, you will win. Sort of.

For a week running, Big Guy’s lunch box has come home clean as a whistle.
Salad with “dranch” dressing – devoured.
Fresh fruit – sucked down.
Sub sandwich with lunch meat that’s a tad saltier than I’d prefer …

The case of the hug-happy kid
Wednesday, 21 Apr, 2010 – 13:19 | Comments Off
The case of the hug-happy kid

As far as discipline problems go, it’s a not-bad one to have. It’s preferable to biting, hitting, kicking, pinching, etc.
It’s still annoying, though, and it’s getting Boots in trouble somewhere virtually every day: At school, …

Join the club at the clubhouse
Tuesday, 20 Apr, 2010 – 15:53 | Comments Off
Join the club at the clubhouse

Mom, can I have a rope, Big Guy asked yesterday afternoon.
It’s in the garage in the party box, I replied, and before you jump to conclusions about what kind of parties we through around here …

If I had a Thing …
Friday, 16 Apr, 2010 – 15:22 | Comments Off
If I had a Thing …

(All misspellings are by the author. Not that the Web master does much better on any given day.)
If i had a thing I would cich it.
I would take the kite away fron him.
If the thing …

Trying not to turn Air Force One into a helicopter
Thursday, 15 Apr, 2010 – 13:03 | Comments Off
Trying not to turn Air Force One into a helicopter

A funny thing happened on the way to the White House.
As he “researched” information for his first-ever report – one page on a historical site, with a picture from which he could create a drawing …

The word on the street about the Tooth Fairy
Tuesday, 13 Apr, 2010 – 12:48 | Comments Off
The word on the street about the Tooth Fairy

Big Guy’s had a loose tooth for more than a year now. Or so he thought.
He first “noticed it” early last spring and charged into the bathroom to ask me to examine what he thought …

Don’t let the baseball bugs bite!
Friday, 9 Apr, 2010 – 13:57 | Comments Off
Don’t let the baseball bugs bite!

Glove: Check.
Bat: Check.
Water bottle: Check.
Batting helmet: Uh, Mom, I don’t know where it is.
Didn’t I tell you to put all your baseball stuff in your bag?
The helmet won’t fit in my bag, Big Guy retorted.
Dang …

Boots and his babies
Tuesday, 16 Mar, 2010 – 10:46 | 4 Comments
Boots and his babies

Boots is going to have two babies, and he’s already set on their names – Lightning and Juan Pablo. The latter is a NASCAR thing.
But what if one’s a girl? What’s her name going to …

Dazed and confused? Then dance
Friday, 12 Mar, 2010 – 13:33 | Comments Off
Dazed and confused? Then dance

It was the second week of karate, and Boots was starting  his new sport the same way he’d started soccer.
He’d flop. He’d flit. He’d spin merrily and smile broadly. Then he’d look appropriately chagrined when …

The hamster chase
Tuesday, 16 Feb, 2010 – 14:09 | One Comment
The hamster chase

You’re a soldier spending your last day with your family before you deploy. In your dream world, the schedule would include:

Waking up at 10 to a nice leisurely breakfast, followed by an afternoon of lolling …

Sorry, folks. You’re No. 8 on my list
Thursday, 11 Feb, 2010 – 13:51 | Comments Off
Sorry, folks. You’re No. 8 on my list

Years ago, a reporter handed me a cartoon outlining OSHA regulations covering how many people were allowed to ride her butt at one time. Because I was No. 8 in line I’d have to wait …

Chia Cam: Day 27
Saturday, 6 Feb, 2010 – 15:00 | Comments Off
Chia Cam: Day 27

Scooby is beginning to represent the attitude that has dogged me my entire life. I want to be an optimistic. I’ll go out of my way to look for reasons to be sunny. But deep, …

Chia Cam: Day 26
Friday, 5 Feb, 2010 – 15:00 | Comments Off
Chia Cam: Day 26

Sloth is battling greed now, and I have no idea which side is going to win.
Greed: Look at all those beautiful baby basils. Imagine all the sauce they can grow into, all the spaghetti, lasagna …