Just when I thought three tubs of tank engine track was as bad as it was going to get, along comes the next menace: Hot Wheels.
It’s not that we’ve never had Hot Wheels – the …

Coloring books: New and unsullied, accompanied by a fresh pack of crayons. Check.
MP3 players: Charged, with new songs loaded. Check.
Snacks: Enough to cover the midnight munchies plus breakfast the next day because the chances are …

In the past month, Big Guy has proclaimed fish sticks “delicious” and watermelon “yummy.” He’s swooned over apple cobbler and eaten a rainbow-colored salad packed with greens, tomatoes, zucchini and carrots. He wasn’t wild about …

Due largely to the fact that Best Friend was watching and he didn’t want to lose face, Boots agreed to get in the pool the first day of swim class. He wouldn’t consent to go …

Given that Big Guy was fearlessly toddling to the top of tall structures by the time he was 14-months-old, I’ve long known that the day would come when he would surpass me athletically.
I didn’t expect …

These kids  just don’t know how easy they have it.
Back in the day when I was walking four miles to the bus stop, up hill both ways, I needed a radio, a tape recorder, cassettes, …

Baseball is my native language, but I’m fluent in basketball, football and figure skating.
I can hold a conversation in NASCAR fake my way through several other sports, including hockey and golf. It’s the equivalent of …

It used to happen every time I went to the salon:  The stylist would manhandle my unruly mop into a sleek, fashionable ‘do. She’d lament that I never fix it that way myself, assuring me …

I was there for the preparation but had to leave before the feast began, so I was curious to hear Big Guy’s reaction to the lunch that was part of his end-of-school party.
“Oh. My. God,” …

Mom-meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Big Guy tooked my glowie, Boots shrieked down the stairs as his brother ran behind him waving the coveted chem light.
Is that his? I asked Big Guy, though I was pretty sure that Boots’ …

The problem with cameras is that they’re getting to be more like computers.
The problem with me is my Palovian response to any shiny object with a chip in it.
The problem with the guys is that …

(With apologies to Karma Wilson, whose “Bear” series is one of our favorites.)
When Big Guy got his yellow, he was one euphoric fellow.

Boots thought karate looked fun so he begged his mom a ton.

But Boots …

I have no problem with dirt. In fact, I much prefer to time spent in front of a screen. Once the weather warms, I even like dirt as long as it stays outside where it’s …

Big Guy had expected me to say “no,” because that’s what I’ve always said when he’s asked. It’s too windy, too cold, too hot. It wasn’t too hard to come up with excuses.
Saturday, though, he …

I should know by now not to let the guys have any say in my makeup – the results usually turn me into a clown or a punk rocker.
For some reason, though, nail polish amuses …

For a week running, Big Guy’s lunch box has come home clean as a whistle.
Salad with “dranch” dressing – devoured.
Fresh fruit – sucked down.
Sub sandwich with lunch meat that’s a tad saltier than I’d prefer …

As far as discipline problems go, it’s a not-bad one to have. It’s preferable to biting, hitting, kicking, pinching, etc.
It’s still annoying, though, and it’s getting Boots in trouble somewhere virtually every day: At school, …

Mom, can I have a rope, Big Guy asked yesterday afternoon.
It’s in the garage in the party box, I replied, and before you jump to conclusions about what kind of parties we through around here …

(All misspellings are by the author. Not that the Web master does much better on any given day.)
If i had a thing I would cich it.
I would take the kite away fron him.
If the thing …

A funny thing happened on the way to the White House.
As he “researched” information for his first-ever report – one page on a historical site, with a picture from which he could create a drawing …

Big Guy’s had a loose tooth for more than a year now. Or so he thought.
He first “noticed it” early last spring and charged into the bathroom to ask me to examine what he thought …

Glove: Check.
Bat: Check.
Water bottle: Check.
Batting helmet: Uh, Mom, I don’t know where it is.
Didn’t I tell you to put all your baseball stuff in your bag?
The helmet won’t fit in my bag, Big Guy retorted.
Dang …

Boots is going to have two babies, and he’s already set on their names – Lightning and Juan Pablo. The latter is a NASCAR thing.
But what if one’s a girl? What’s her name going to …

It was the second week of karate, and Boots was starting  his new sport the same way he’d started soccer.
He’d flop. He’d flit. He’d spin merrily and smile broadly. Then he’d look appropriately chagrined when …

You’re a soldier spending your last day with your family before you deploy. In your dream world, the schedule would include:

Waking up at 10 to a nice leisurely breakfast, followed by an afternoon of lolling …

Years ago, a reporter handed me a cartoon outlining OSHA regulations covering how many people were allowed to ride her butt at one time. Because I was No. 8 in line I’d have to wait …

Scooby is beginning to represent the attitude that has dogged me my entire life. I want to be an optimistic. I’ll go out of my way to look for reasons to be sunny. But deep, …

Sloth is battling greed now, and I have no idea which side is going to win.
Greed: Look at all those beautiful baby basils. Imagine all the sauce they can grow into, all the spaghetti, lasagna …