A brown belt for Big Guy – not that it’s important
Mon, 12/03/12 – 12:49 | Comments Off

It was testing week in karate and, as usual, Big Guy was under the gun. Not as much as he used to be, when he didn’t have a clue and had to frantically cram, but …

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Food

Picky eaters and allergy-safe cooking — the two aren’t necessarily unrelated.

Girl Gone Wonk

From policy to politics, this rant’s for you.

News

The day’s events in a family way — unless something else amuses me.

School days

From preschool to kindergarten — so far

Simple Gifts

Inexpensive homemade gifts, creative parties and low-cost projects, for Christmas and beyond. Many are easy enough for children to help.

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Articles tagged with: Humor

Hitting the road – together
Monday, 5 Mar, 2012 – 12:10 | One Comment
Hitting the road – together

I’m a mom, so I have strange dreams.
No, I’m not talking about the one shortly after I returned to work following the Boots maternity leave, when every night for a week  brake failure sent my …

There are rules, and then there’s 36 hours of Daytona
Tuesday, 28 Feb, 2012 – 13:07 | One Comment
There are rules, and then there’s 36 hours of Daytona

We have a strict 8 p.m. bedtime.
Sort of. Over the past two years it’s morphed to a strict “be physically in the bed by 8 but stay awake and read for a while if you …

I absolutely do not want you to practice karate
Thursday, 9 Feb, 2012 – 10:52 | One Comment
I absolutely do not want you to practice karate

In the almost three years since the guys started karate,  the pattern’s persisted.
Blow off practice then get upset when you don’t earn a stripe. Practice your little butt off for the next week or so …

A fatwa on little food
Tuesday, 7 Feb, 2012 – 12:00 | Comments Off
A fatwa on little food

They’re bad for the environment – all those bits of plastic and foil have to go somewhere. They’re bad for the pocketbook – calculate the cost per ounce for a box of bags and compare …

How I accidentally got off the sauce
Monday, 6 Feb, 2012 – 14:07 | Comments Off
How I accidentally got off the sauce

It seems that the easiest way to quit something cold turkey is to not know you’re doing it. Of course, that’s also the hardest way, since it’s usually impossible to stop without realizing it.
I managed …

Dear Guys: I am not in charge of cleats
Wednesday, 14 Sep, 2011 – 12:45 | Comments Off
Dear Guys: I am not in charge of cleats

It was bad enough that it happened once. By the time of the second incident in less than 24 hours, my head was ready to explode.
One day last week, my phone rang about 20 minutes …

A man and a grocery list
Wednesday, 7 Sep, 2011 – 12:16 | Comments Off
A man and a grocery list

Disclaimer: There are many men who flat know their shiitake when it comes to the ways of the super market. They understand that when you need balsamic none of the other vinegars in the cabinet …

I need a new phone. Or do I?
Thursday, 11 Aug, 2011 – 12:07 | Comments Off
I need a new phone. Or do I?

Twenty-nine months after it came into my life, the relationship is ending.
I’d hoped to eek another few months out of it my 2009 Blackberry, even though I’ve been eligible for an upgrade since the …

Are we there yet? No, we’re recalculating
Tuesday, 9 Aug, 2011 – 11:27 | Comments Off
Are we there yet? No, we’re recalculating

I’m probably the last geek on Earth to own a GPS device, which is funny because the technology was invented with people like me in mind.
The guys don’t say, “Are we there yet?” They ask, …

Hold on there. You’re supposed to be a Reds fan.
Tuesday, 26 Jul, 2011 – 12:40 | 4 Comments
Hold on there. You’re supposed to be a Reds fan.

You remember the sweet little baby he used to be, and you wonder how it all went sideways.
You tried to raise him right – before he was born you ordered a onsie from your favorite …

On Tuesday, he ate …
Tuesday, 19 Jul, 2011 – 14:37 | Comments Off
On Tuesday, he ate …

Looking back, it was a mistake to read Big Guy “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” when he was a baby. Or maybe it’s his kindergarten teacher’s fault.
Whatever the reason, he’s been bent on living out the …

Epiblogue: He finally catches him
Thursday, 30 Jun, 2011 – 13:31 | Comments Off
Epiblogue: He finally catches him

Ever the practical soul, Boots doesn’t believe in “getting there is half the fun.” For him, there is no fun if there’s no reason for going. Not that I blame him. I’ve never seen the …

How Debra got her groove back
Tuesday, 28 Jun, 2011 – 12:31 | 2 Comments
How Debra got her groove back

A funny thing happened on the way down the mountain.
Maybe the cross at the top triggered a religious experience, or maybe my brain lapsed into giddy euphoria due to oxygen deprivation. Whatever the reason, exercise …

Monopoly and mad skills
Wednesday, 22 Jun, 2011 – 12:10 | One Comment
Monopoly and mad skills

It’s one simple board game, but in our house it has seemingly endless variations.
There’s the Bernie Madoff Monopoly Edition, where I sit in jail for as long as I can but still wind up …

Turning the mountain back into a molehill
Tuesday, 21 Jun, 2011 – 16:35 | One Comment
Turning the mountain back into a molehill

Mount Blackie. Elevation unknown, so let’s just call it “hecka high.”
Except it’s not really all that high, unless you’re a 7-year-old itching to scale it. Unless you have memories of a previous  failed attempt. Unless …

Boots plays kindergarten cop
Tuesday, 5 Apr, 2011 – 13:32 | Comments Off
Boots plays kindergarten cop

Boots is  a law and order man – except when it comes to keeping his stuff in order, but what fun is being the sheriff if you can’t let yourself out of the occasional parking …

Wait, guys! Mommy wants to play!
Thursday, 17 Mar, 2011 – 11:19 | One Comment
Wait, guys! Mommy wants to play!

No matter how involved you are as a parent, you know that “Cat’s in the Cradle” moment is going to come eventually. I just expected it closer to college.
Mine instead happened this week, courtesy of …

Lessons from the lemonade stand
Wednesday, 16 Mar, 2011 – 11:47 | 2 Comments
Lessons from the lemonade stand

It was the kind of capitalism that capitalists would frown on because, while it didn’t take a village, it did require three sets of siblings.
First came the idea, which actually was stolen from another set …

Keep your hands off my desk. Please.
Thursday, 24 Feb, 2011 – 12:09 | Comments Off
Keep your hands off my desk. Please.

I thought I was choosing wisely when I put my desk in front of a window in the family room when we moved here.
It’s usually a sunny spot until mid-afternoon, which helps wake me up …

Looks like Boots has a roommate – again
Tuesday, 22 Feb, 2011 – 12:23 | One Comment
Looks like Boots has a roommate – again

When I heard the thump, I knew I was in trouble.
I had no idea how much trouble until I woke up this morning with arms like cooked spaghetti. My back ached, and I’d nodded off …

The most boring way on Earth to end up injured
Monday, 14 Feb, 2011 – 11:00 | 2 Comments
The most boring way on Earth to end up injured

In the past year in a half, Big Guy has had a cast on his arm, an Ace on his ankle and, now, an arm in a sling. The causes were monkey bars, tripping at …

The dentist – worse than driving down range
Friday, 11 Feb, 2011 – 11:58 | 2 Comments
The dentist – worse than driving down range

The surprising part is not that the Army is telling Dad he has to have his wisdom teeth removed – that’s pretty much pro forma, though I’m not sure why. A friend who used to …

If they hear it at home, it has no crediblity
Friday, 4 Feb, 2011 – 13:14 | Comments Off
If they hear it at home, it has no crediblity

Take your average mild-mannered mom wearing jeans and a T-shirt, stand her in her kitchen and have her talk to kids about the importance of dental hygiene. Chances are their eyes will glaze over like …

Bring it on, Monopoly
Thursday, 3 Feb, 2011 – 12:38 | Comments Off
Bring it on, Monopoly

Boots rolled the dice and chuffed his tiny train along the Monopoly board, finishing on Reading Railroad. He beamed as he declined to buy it. “I’m going to save my money!” he smiled, waving two …

Bloody Mary? Oh, the horrors!
Wednesday, 2 Feb, 2011 – 10:02 | Comments Off
Bloody Mary? Oh, the horrors!

Big Guy will watch “GI Joe: Rise of the Cobra” repeatedly and not be bothered a bit. He didn’t flinch during any “Harry Potter” one through four, though he did think “The Goblet of Fire” …

Wanted: Guide dog for an elephant
Tuesday, 1 Feb, 2011 – 13:07 | Comments Off
Wanted: Guide dog for an elephant

The loveys tend to reappear when the guys are in the middle of uncertainty, such as the current chaos of knowing their dad will be back sometime sooner rather than later but not knowing exactly …

Creating a family of cereal killers
Thursday, 27 Jan, 2011 – 12:14 | One Comment
Creating a family of cereal killers

Confiscate a kid’s candy and chuck his chips and what do you get?
A boy so desperate for sweets that he’ll eat Honey Kix for the sugar buzz. A lad so crazed for crunch that he’ll …

You have only 20 words. Use them wisely
Tuesday, 25 Jan, 2011 – 13:09 | Comments Off
You have only 20 words. Use them wisely

I read somewhere a long time ago that a dog is about as intelligent as a 3-year-old. I read somewhere recently that a dog can understand only about 20 words, which means someone’s either underestimating …