Boots came home excited to show me what he’d bought at school, and I was excited, too. I’d wondered all day what he would pick.
“Do they have Thomas books?” he’d asked that morning.
“I didn’t notice, …

Boots wanted to grow apples – “nice, fresh apples, but for the people, not the deer,” he explained, eyeing the trail of half-eaten fruit the previous night’s marauders had scattered across his pawpaw’s yard.
Never mind …

He’s been in kindergarten less than three weeks but Boots already has his college choices narrowed to two:  California State University, Stanislaus or West Virginia University.
The first is a small college that was practically in …

He trundled to the bus stop less than a football field’s length from our back door, waddling slightly from the balk of a backpack a tad to big for him. He clutched a sheath of …

Due largely to the fact that Best Friend was watching and he didn’t want to lose face, Boots agreed to get in the pool the first day of swim class. He wouldn’t consent to go …

Boots woke Monday morning with one of his best smiles,  leaping out of bed and downstairs for breakfast. “HOORAY!!” he cheered. “It’s soccer camp day!”
Even though he hadn’t been particularly enthused during the indoor season …

The invitation set my snarkometer into overdrive when the teachers handed it to us that morning.
Preschool graduation. 4 p.m., May 19. Complete with a “commencement address.” It had all the markings of a big to-do, …

(With apologies to Karma Wilson, whose “Bear” series is one of our favorites.)
When Big Guy got his yellow, he was one euphoric fellow.

Boots thought karate looked fun so he begged his mom a ton.

But Boots …

Thanks to the wonders of modern technology, Boots got to read his father the riot act via Skype this weekend.
“Why did you join the Army?” Boots asked the pixelated father on the computer screen. “I …

Boots’ baseball season apparently has ended, not with a homerun trot or a pizza party, but curled up in a fetal position in the floorboard of a car.
I say “apparently,” because with more than half …

It started as a bribe one Friday when I needed to take Dad’s weekly package to the post office but Boots was starving because snack had been something odious that day at school. It probably …

As far as discipline problems go, it’s a not-bad one to have. It’s preferable to biting, hitting, kicking, pinching, etc.
It’s still annoying, though, and it’s getting Boots in trouble somewhere virtually every day: At school, …

If anyone’s station in life seemingly was secure, Boots’ was.
He’s the youngest grandchild on each side, thus ensuring his lifelong position as “The Baby.”
Ay, but no one ever warned him that there would be other …

It was one of Boots’ best performances ever.
Miffed that Big Guy didn’t want to play with him, Boots stomped over to a lonely corner of the playground, plopped down and hung his head. Seconds later, …

Boots is going to have two babies, and he’s already set on their names – Lightning and Juan Pablo. The latter is a NASCAR thing.
But what if one’s a girl? What’s her name going to …

It was the second week of karate, and Boots was starting  his new sport the same way he’d started soccer.
He’d flop. He’d flit. He’d spin merrily and smile broadly. Then he’d look appropriately chagrined when …

She had the same reaction I did when she went to the pre-season meeting for soccer parents and found out that her 4-year-old’s team didn’t have a coach: This will never work.
The director assured everyone …

For years, Boots dreamed of joining Big Guy on that glorious place called the soccer field.
He ran onto the grass in the middle of practice. He threw  tantrums so horrific he was banned from going …

It was a sad, sad day when Boots’ folder came home from school last week brimming with Christmas-era artwork. Stockings, trees, gingerbread and more, all removed from the classroom walls in order to make room …

Boots bounced down the stairs, climbed on the bar stool and was waiting at the counter for breakfast before I’d even turned on the kitchen light this morning.
“Mommy, I can’t wait to go to school …

“Mommy! Superman’s face is all black. What did he do to it?” Big Guy demanded indignantly, thrusting the toy under my nose.
Sure enough, there now was a chunk of dark plastic where a face and …

You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen. Comet and Cupid and Donder and Blitzen …
But do you know how scary it is up here? Even when the audience is all mommies and daddies …

I love independence – one of the happiest days of my life was when Big Guy woke up early, climbed on a stool, hoisted the Cheerios from atop the fridge and made himself and his …

Boots’ eyes got wide this morning after he accidentally bumped a classmate as they both hung their coats and the boy muttered something.
“Mommy!” Boots gasped. “He called me a name!”
I didn’t ask what the name …

Once in a while a child is born with such preternatural patience that it puts the adults around him to shame.
In the case of Boots, the trait has to be the result of genetic mutation. …

There are picky eaters, there are picky eaters who border on neurotic and there are wannabes.
Big Guy’s the neurotic type. Part of it has to do with his food allergies, but mostly it’s …

He went to bed one night a callow youth of 3, egcitick about his birthday the next day but not quite understanding that if he’d just go to sleep it would be here before he …

There was trouble on the Island of Sodor this morning as I cleared the breakfast mess.
“Mommy, Thomas is crying,” Boots anguished. “It’s his birthday, and Percy is taking all the cake. And all the presents.”
“Can’t …

Had I not been the target, Boots’ backyard baseball performance yesterday would have been hilarious.
Big Guy and I were playing catch while Boots sulked inside with his Thomas DVD. After about 15 minutes, the game …

It occurred to me this week that I had a set of conflicting goals: Get Big Guy to school on time and get Boots out of the stroller.
I’d served Boots his eviction notice about a …

The problem with a 3-year-old’s tantrums is that they’ve lost the mystery, the romance.
When a 2-year-old throws a fit, you can patiently run through the list of usual suspects. “Are you hungry? Do you need …

Blessed are the coaches who schedule practice in a park where there’s something to keep younger siblings amused, for you save parents much stress and preserve the hearing of everyone within a 10 mile radius.
I …

The disadvantage of being the younger child is that you’re born to an experienced parent. One well-acquainted with the sneaky ways of a rascally preschooler.
Which means that, with the exception of Boots’ toilet fixation, there …

Since we’re into adding warning labels to children’s media this days, “The Foot Book” needs to be next on the list.
Innocent introduction to literature suitable even for young babes? Yeah, I fell for that, too, …

At what the point does “it’s just a phase” morph into “it’s a personality trait that’s not going to change”?
When, six months down the road and after untold lectures, scoldings and timeouts, a 3-year-old still …

Is there such a thing as bathing addiction? If so, does anyone know of a treatment program, preferably one at a center with showers only?
I think Boots is going to need help some day. Possibly …

Seems that the older I get, the more I lose my ability to think like a child.
I still get the imaginative part no problem, which means I’m pretty quick on the uptake when Boots is …

I finally found a solution to my oversleeping problem: The Ultimate Alarm clock.
The Ultimate Alarm is not cheap: Delivery alone weighs in at thousands of dollars, and ongoing maintenance is pricey, too.
Nor is it compact, …