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Home » 9to5to9

Big Guy’s warp-speed world

Submitted by on Thursday, 31 March 2011 No Comment
The running joke about Big Guy is that he was born in a hurry. He arrived a week early, with all the subtlety of a thunderstorm, and tried to pop his head up and look around the delivery room mere seconds after the cord was cut. He must have been bored hanging out doing nothing in the womb.

The other running joke about Big Guy is about his running mouth. Lacking anyone to talk to, we used to hear him blab himself to sleep over his baby monitor. Once he learned actual words, he'd sing and talk with Bear long after lights-out time.

Except now the jokes aren't so funny.

Three quarters of the way through second grade, Big Guy has sat in every seat in the classroom in hopes there would be one somewhere that was uninspiring enough to inspire him to keep quiet. No dice. Lacking anyone to chat with, he'd probably talk to the desk itself.

Meanwhile, he rushes through his work to move on to the next fun thing, which presumablyinvolves finding another classmate to chat with.

Do you have any suggestions? his teacher asked.

It was on the tip of my tongue to mention duct tape, but school officials probably would frown on that. Perhaps a hermetically sealed chamber would work, but there's no money for that.

Oh, am I ever regretting following the advice about talking to babies so they'll develop strong verbal skills. All those trips to the grocery store where I told little Big Guy what we were buying and why? Clearly that started the problem we're having today.

Despite all this, his grades are solid. They would be better if he didn't rush through to get to the next fun thing, and that's not just coming from a mom with high standards. We've seen the good work - the creative stories, the legible penmanship, the neat equations. We see them just often enough to tease us. Everyone, including Big Guy, knows that he can do it when he decides he's going to.

One of these days I'll probably be glad that he's outspoken, social and completes his work quickly. That day, however, is not today.

Copyright 2011 Debra Legg. All rights reserved.

 

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