Teeth-cleaning gum? Oh my God, is this ever the answer to my prayers.

It sounds almost too good to be true and I feared at first that it might be because most Google paths lead back to a single source: A story yesterday on the Web site Cosmetics Design. Finally, though, I turned up a second article at nature.com. Whew! Two’s a trend – there might be something here after all.

According to that article, the Army developed the gum for soldiers to use when they’re far away from tooth brush and toothpaste or even running water for that matter.

It’s not the same thing as various “teeth-cleaning gums” being marketed commercially. The trick there is “microgranules” that “help give the feeling of clean teeth.”

It’s not the same as ordinary gums that are billed as “good for your teeth” because they increase saliva flow, which helps wash away food particles.

Instead, the military version includes an ingredient that would attack the bacteria that cause plaque and lead to gum disease. It apparently would do this without also attacking the good bacteria in your gut and leading to a whole new set of problems.

If it also will prevent cavities, I’ll buy it. A lot of it, regardless of what it costs. Any price would be worth it if we could end the daily dental drama. I wouldn’t even feel guilty in the face of the inevitable criticism that “this generation is so lazy it doesn’t even brush its teeth.”

I’ve searched for less-drastic solutions. We’ve tried flashing, musical and moving tooth brushes. Once the novelty passes, the harangues return.

I’ve tried patiently explaining why the guys need to brush their teeth until I’ve flat run out of patience.

I’ve tried fiat and force, but that still hasn’t ended the arguments. The guys have an amazing abilities to twist my words into what they wanted to hear. “I have to brush my teeth now? This morning? But you said we only have to brush them at night.” No, I didn’t. Not ever.

But gum? Oh, that would be a gift from the dental gods. Especially since the guys already think that chomping on a stick is an acceptable substitute. No, guys. Bathing your bicuspids in Bubble Yum will not help at all.

The down side: The article says that the gum would delay the need for a tooth brush for only a couple of days. That means it wouldn’t so much end the “did you brush” brouhaha in our house as it would merely delay it for a couple of days.

“Whadda ya mean I have to brush my teeth? It’s only Friday. I just brushed on Tuesday.”

Copyright 2010 Debra Legg. All rights reserved.

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