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I need a Knaus in my house

Submitted by on Tuesday, 9 November 2010 No Comment

Just when I thought Kevin Lehman, who advises that you sometimes “pull the rug out and let the little buzzards tumble,” was the ultimate in reality discipline then along comes someone who makes Lehman look like a simpering wimp.

“Have A New Kid by Friday,” as Lehman suggests. Nope. Too slow.

Chad Knaus had a new pit crew halfway through the race Sunday at Texas.

For those who don’t follow NASCAR as closely as we do in this house, Knaus is the crew chief for defending four-time Sprint Cup champion Jimmie Johnson.  Big Guy calls Johnson “The Evil One,” because he’s tired of seeing him go home with the trophy.

The nickname might switch to Knaus, who was tired of slow pit stops in last weekend’s race. Tired enough that midway through he radioed down to Hendrick Motorsports teammate Jeff Gordon’s pit stall and ordered Gordon’s crew to report to his stall. Gordon had already crashed out of the race and brawled with another driver.

Gordon’s crew worked for Knaus for the rest of the race. Johnson’s crew took a sit down. Neither crew was particularly happy about the switch.

As NASAR wags debate with the move was genius, desperation or idiocy – Hendrick announced later  that the crew swap would remain in place for the rest of the season -  I’m casting my vote for genius. I’m also going to cast out feelers to see if Knaus will work for me after the final race.

You see, I talk a good game. Sometimes I’ll even enforce a good game for weeks at a time. But then something happens – medical appointments, sports schedules and school events pile up. Sometimes it feels like we’re changing clothes as quickly around here as Knaus’s pit crew, whichever one is in play, is changing tires. Chaos takes hold, and it’s back to the unkempt status quo.

Underwear and socks mark the path twixt bedroom and bath. Karate gear spills out of the closet and into the hall. The breakfast dishes remain on the counter until lunch. I rant, I complain, and then I pick it up myself.

Until Sunday, when I once again declare martial law. Thou shalt tidy your own messes or … or … or …

Or Chad Knaus will come in here and get you squared away. And you know what he did to The Evil One’s pit crew. Do you think he’s the type to put up with your fooling around?

He does have me at an advantage, though. I can’t exactly radio up the street and ask a neighbor to send me a different set of kids, ones willing to do a better job.

Can I?

Copyright 2010 Debra Legg. All rights reserved.

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