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What’s in Dad’s care package

Submitted by on Sunday, 9 May 2010 No Comment

Dad does not like coffee. Not at all. He can handle a heap of jalapenos but swears that Starbucks bothers his stomach.

So why were there two pounds of Starbucks in his care package this week?

Because he’s gotten into the habit of brewing a pot first thing every morning when he gets to the company. And because he swears that his coffee-loving sergeant drinks it stronger than I do. Impossible! I said on a Post-It. Try this with a heaping scoop per cup and then get back to me.

The rest of the package:

15-ounce Coffee Mate French Vanilla creamer: I know deep down Dad still doesn’t like coffee.

Nissan Original Chow Mein: These are nice, compact sodium-laden containers. Just add hot water and watch your blood pressure climb. Kind of a high-rent Ramen Noodles.  It’s not sustenance so much as comfort. Dad happens to like Ramen Noodles and excessive salt.

Pringles Screaming Dill Pickle: Continuing on our salt theme. Did you know pickles could scream? I had no idea and I still haven’t heard them, but I certainly heard Dad when he found them. He’d been obsessed with dill pickle potato chips for years – he used to eat them while visiting cousins in Montreal but found them only rarely statewide. He was delighted when he started seeing these on grocery store shelves.

SpongeBob watches: These were Burger King toys that the kids played with enthusiastically for roughly 3.6 seconds before forgetting about them. We sent them, along with an assortment of Hot Wheels, so Dad could regift them.

Mini Fruit Rollups: Also to pass along to kids who won’t growl about everything you give them.

Monster Slim Jim, jalapeno flavor: This is making a repeat appearance after it passed the Dadomometer test for adequate spiciness.

Paydays: Two bars to fulfill the weekly Recommended Dad Allowance.

The guys’ journals

plus some school projects. Boots has grown fond of emptying his school folder into the care package every Friday.

The weekly puzzles.

Copyright 2010 Debra Legg. All rights reserved.

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