I’m a fairly safety-conscious parent who pays attention to the product recalls and knows all the traditional advice: Don’t use lights with frayed cords, keep candles away from flammable objects, etc.

But never did I imagine that I’d have to inventory the Christmas tree branch by branch in search of “sharp things” – you know, the ones that fall on wrapped gifts and rip the paper.

What? You mean that’s only happening at my house?

The first incident was last night, just before bedtime when Boots ran into the kitchen. “Mommy! A sharp thing fell off the tree and opened a present!” he exclaimed.

Dad stood guard over the damaged goods – somehow the “sharp thing” failed to reveal enough for the guys to figure out anything – and looked menacing as I found wrapping paper to do a patch job. We went to bed confident that the “sharp things” incidents were over.

But this morning, another one struck.

“MOMMY!” Boots yelled again. “Another sharp thing fell off the tree and opened another present. Big Guy’s going to love that soft Army blanket!”

So it was time for another patch job, this time one that resembled the neighbor’s primer-dotted pickup. Or maybe that was just my neighbor.

I’m beginning to wonder what that “sharp thing” is. A jagged edge on what appears to be a smooth ornaments? Candy canes sharpened to shank-like points? Lights that pierce like lasers when the adults aren’t around?

There has to be something, because I know those sweet children wouldn’t be trying to sneak a peak in presents.

Would they?

It’s a good thing my car keys are out of reach so they can’t rummage the trunk for the GameStop bag.

Copyright 2009 Debra Legg. All rights reserved.

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