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Might as well jump

Submitted by on Monday, 9 November 2009 No Comment

Notice to Big Guy:

Effective 10 November, 2009, the terms of your school-morning checklist will change. Please note this and make plans to adhere to the following requirements.

  • Put your lunch box in your backpack.
  • Be quiet on the bus.
  • No clowning around on the reading carpet.
  • Don’t jump off the sinks in the bathroom.

The last is the new item. I’d never dreamed I needed it until his teacher called this afternoon to tell me of the exploits of him and his fellow paratrooper wannabes.

Unfortunately, the incident happened last week and it took someone until today to rat them out. But, like I told Big Guy recently after he got in trouble for flipping someone off on the bus – he swore he didn’t know what it meant – someone always tells.

Some people tell for good reasons, out of concern. Others tell because they enjoy the thrill of getting someone else in trouble. Either way, your secret will not be safe. He must have been chuckling to himself at that one, because he knew no one yet knew of the restroom aerial assault.

Ay, but we do now.

I have no doubt that my little darling was the ring leader on this one. Climbing and jumping have been two of his favorite pursuits since he became mobile. He’s not as good as a friend’s kid, who managed to make it from chair to counter to top of the refrigerator when he was a toddler, but he can hold his own.

And this particular orneriness took some strategy, too, which is another Big Guy strong point. Particularly when it comes to strategizing trouble.

They – I’m not sure how many but I get the impression it was more than two – first climbed on a lower sink, then to a higher one that served as launching pad to the hard floor below. It must have been at recess, because they had time for several jumps.

I’m a combination of stunned and awestruck. How does someone look at a series of bathroom sinks and decide they’d make a great diving apparatus? I don’t understand it. At all.

So when Big Guy gets home today, I’ll explain the addition to his morning checklist and dole out a punishment appropriate for attempted destruction of public property and unsuccessful self-assault.

Don’t jump off bathroom sinks.

It’s not a conversation I ever could have predicted.

Copyright 2009 Debra Legg. All rights reserved.

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