At what the point does “it’s just a phase” morph into “it’s a personality trait that’s not going to change”?

When, six months down the road and after untold lectures, scoldings and timeouts, a 3-year-old still is taking great delight in filling the toilet with half a roll of paper at a time.

Boots and I have waged potty wars since the fall. Technically speaking, I’ve waged the wars. He’s been a delighted noncombatant because he knows there’s going to be a time at some point during the day or week when I’ll be too busy to remind him or too preoccupied to police him.

He’ll see his opening, and shortly thereafter I’ll be doing time with the plunger. Again.

Contrast that to Big Guy, who would be more likely to ask if he  could plug up the potty and then wail at the injustice when I say no.

“Why can’t I?”

“Because it wastes paper and wastes our trees.”

“But why not?”

“Because water goes all over the floor, I have to clean it up and I don’t like that.”

“But why?”

“Because the mess is icky.”

“Why?

Arggghhhh.

Boots, on the other hand, just goes for it and takes the lecture later.

There are two kinds of people in life, you see, and I have one of each:

• The type that asks permission, argues to the death when permission is denied but complies anyway. Though a seeming rebel on the surface, these folks actually are much more establishment because despite the fuss they ultimately go along with the “authority.” That’s Big Guy.
• The type that ignores the rules when they want because the rules are silly or unnecessary. These folks are easier to be around on a day-in, day-out basis because they seldom raise a fuss but merely giggle and say “sorry” when they’re caught doing something they shouldn’t. That’s Boots.

I’ve always been much more like Big Guy, not to mention more than a little envious of the Boots types. In many ways, life is a lot simpler when you do it first and beg forgiveness later. Until, of course, it reaches the point where begging forgiveness involves a guilty plea and a lengthy sentence.

It’s possible for the two types to co-exist under the same roof, though it does make life rowdier. Particularly when the rules-following rebel starts howling after the covert rule-breaker pulls another caper.

At least, though, I always know soon after Boots floods the bathroom. Big Guy always is quick with the updates.

Copyright 2009 Debra Legg. All rights reserved.

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