Delivery cuts could make the guys go postal
I apologize for questioning your efficiency in instances when I known full well the check was in the mail but someone had routed it through Kalamazoo instead of sending it via a more direct route from one side of town to the other.
I sincerely regret accusing letter carriers of various chemical dependencies over the years, even the one who routinely put other people's jury summonses and tax documents in my box.
Actually, I don't take it back at all, because it's all happened and it's all frustrating. I'm just trying to kiss up in hopes that you'll stick to six-day delivery now that I finally need it.
Yes, I understand your problem: Declining volume and increasing costs that added up to a $2.8 billion loss last year.
But you need to understand my problem: Two kids who clamor every day to check the mail and take great delight in opening even the junkiest of junk, though they now agree that the advertising circulars can go immediately to the recycling can.
Part of it's fed by "Blues Clues," and they even sing "We Just Got a Letter" on the way back from the box. The rest is a holiday hangover filled with fresh memories of days when the mail was a constant stream of delights. Letters from Santa, packages and cards. They even liked the cards without money inside.
The new mail obsession can keep Boots occupied for ages in the morning as he frantically writes "letters" and attempts to stuff them in envelopes. He's never quite sure to whom he's writing, but he knows I keep telling him that he'd stand a better chance of getting mail if he would send some.
And Big Guy can keep railing for an hour when asked to write a single sentence as part of his homework, but he'll patiently type or write a letter, plus address the envelope. It's never in any condition to actually go in the mail when he finishes, but give him a E for effort.
He even knows how to sort the mail: Junk for the garbage, junk they can open and Mom's important stuff.
That the last category is so small is your problem. There are only two bills I can't get online, and I pay them all the same way. I couldn't even tell you how much a stamp costs - when a book started lasting most of a year, I simply quit paying attention.
But for the sake of the guys, and for your own preservation, you need to keep delivering six days. Because if I have to turn them over to email letters, you can consider yourself finished.
Copyright 2009 Debra Legg. All rights reserved.