And baby makes 14 – I don’t get it
We almost did just that because of my age - 39 - when Big Guy was born. There were many who questioned our decision, in fact, when we announced as I neared 41 that Boots was on the way. One particularly tactless person asked if it was a decision. "Did you mean to?"
Obviously, I understand having two children, and even three would not have been that far of a mental stretch for me had I not been 10 years older than dirt when I starting having kids. Three definitely would have been a financial stretch, one I'm glad we don't have to make in this economy.
I can even understand having four kids. I know a two-career couple who handles their quartet spectacularly, though they decided to stop there out of concern they wouldn't be able to give as much per child to additional babies. They didn't mean money, either. They were talking primarily about time.
Once you get beyond four, it gets fuzzy for me. Maybe I'm too selfish or lazy, but I simply could not handle the workload, the emotional load, the sheer magnitude of being overwhelmed day-in, day-out. I know some parents do, and my hat's off to them.
And I definitely don't understand seeking fertility treatments that bring eight more into the world when you need a nanny to help care for the six you already have. Nor do I understand why any doctor would consent to help you.
"If she went to a fertility clinic, there's wide consensus from every single ethicist and fertility specialist that this was irresponsible and unethical to implant that many embryos," M. Sara Rosenthal, bioethicist at the University of Kentucky's College of Medicine, told CNN. "This is an outrageous situation that should not happen."
"She" is the 33-year-old anonymous Whittier, Calif., woman who gave birth to eight babies this week in Southern California. No. 8 was a surprise - doctors thought there were only seven until delivery day.
So to avoid exaggerating the situation, let's say she planned to have 13, not 14 children.
I'm setting aside speculation about her marital status aside - ABC News reports that she divorced a year ago though had not lived with her husband in eight years - because I don't have a problem with unmarried parents as long as they're committed to being parents together.
I don't get even 13 children. Not when you're living with your parents in a house a size more suitable for six, max, than for 17. Not with the extreme risks to both mother and children that come with multiple births. Not with the costs of caring for that many children, starting with a birth estimated to be in the $800,000 range.
And I certainly don't get the desire to have "just one more" when you already have a half dozen under age 7. And I don't understand a doctor who would agree to help.
Copyright 2009 Debra Legg. All rights reserved.