Now that California has closed the most stoopit legal loophole in the history of driving laws, I don’t know how on Earth I’m going to keep myself occupied on the road.

Since Thursday, it’s been illegal to drive and text message in the Golden State.

It’s been illegal to drive and use the cell phone since July — sort of — but now texting on the road is a no-no, too.

I say “sort of,” because it never was illegal to scroll through a contact list to find and dial phone numbers — not that many people actually dial numbers these days. And it never was illegal to talk on the phone.

It was, however, illegal to hold the phone to your ear, thus creating a boom business last year for California Bluetooth dealers.  Speaker phones also qualified as “hands-free devices,” though retailers never talked up that part. And why would they when they could sell more equipment by failing to mention it?

I bit on the whole Bluetooth thing before I realized that particular loophole, though the Bluetooth sits uncharged in the tiny corner of turbo purse the guys allow me to use. I simply don’t have the patience to learn to use it — not that it has a tremendous learning curve, but there are more useful tasks I’d rather tackle. Like alphabetizing my spices.

I’m weird when it comes to technology — I think it’s a generational thing. I’ll adapt, and quickly, when it’s useful. The ability to filling my head with chatter 24-7 never has struck me as particularly useful. Really, with two kids around, silence is a blessed break at times.

I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with my cell phone as well. Access in case of emergency: Great. Access to inquire where I am when I’m five minutes late: Evil.

I’ve never gotten into texting either, though as hopelessly Twitter-addicted as I am I know that day’s coming. But not until I switch to a plan with a better messaging deal or the carriers stop profiteering on the packages.

And there are always enough diversions in my car that I can keep entertained without texting. Except for the odd three-hour drive home, I don’t have time to talk, much less text, between referring spats, playing DJ and keeping my eyes on the road.

Even the latest law still has a loophole, though. It’s still legal to surf the Web or play games while driving. So I suppose if the guys happen to take simultaneous naps, the radio fails, the CD player skips and my coffee cup’s empty, I still will be able to find amusement.

Copyright 2009 Debra Legg. All rights reserved.

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