Keeping in mind that I’m neither a doctor nor lawyer, here is what I would do.

1. Have your doctor – pediatrician or allergist, though the allergist might have more sway — write a letter to the school explaining your daughter’s condition in as simple, non-medical terms as is possible for a physician. Perhaps the doctor would even let you draft a letter as a starting point.

I would have the doctor include the diagnosis in layman’s terms: She’s allergic to peanut to the point that exposure could cause death. Then I’d go into what’s meant by “exposure.” In Big Guy’s case, we know he’s contact allergic (and the doctor will have to explain “contact allergic”) but not allergic to the dander.

2. Also include a letter citing what needs to happen in the classroom/cafeteria for your daughter to be safe. In Big Guy’s classroom, for example, there are no snacks with peanuts or peanut butter, though the other children can bring them in their lunch to be consumed in the cafeteria. In the cafeteria, he sits at a separate peanut-free table at which no children with peanuts or peanut butter in their lunches sit.

Explain that the Americans With Disabilities Act is on your side: It’s a 2008 update, so perhaps they genuinely aren’t aware of it.

3. I don’t know where you are geographically, but you might try searching the Internet or asking around to see how other districts in your state have handled the issue. This is not a new issue: I bet there’s some precedent in your support that you could site.

4. Ask for a meeting with the principal (since talking to the vice principal doesn’t appear to have helped much) and the school nurse if applicable. Keep it as positive as you can — and I know that will be hard when you feel like you’ve been teacher-tortured all year. Explain that you’re not trying to castigate the teacher, even if that IS what you feel like doing. Explain that you’re merely trying to work out a situation where your daughter can be safe in school, and you’re sure that’s what they want as well. Because they do, if for no other reason than they don’t want the liability of something awful happening due to their negligence.

If that doesn’t work, go to the district office. If that doesn’t work, go to the superintendent. If that doesn’t work, go to the school board. If that doesn’t work, go to the local media.

Hope this helps! Best of luck to you and your daughter.

As much guff as I caught before and immediately after Big Guy was diagnosed, you’d think it would be burned in my brain, though.

And clearly that editorial writer didn’t know the subject. I think the “information” was partly CDC statistics spun into what the writer wanted them to say.

The line that gave me the biggest laugh was where the writer encouraged schools to do their own research instead of giving in to exaggerated claims. I wish the writer had done exactly that.

Rachelima: I’m waiting on the Epi-Pen fight until Big Guy’s old enough to know what to do with it. He’s only 5. He’s starting to get an idea of how to administer it, because we drill every month, but he’s not quite there yet on self-administration. I’m not sure he’d recognize yet when he’d need it — he hasn’t had a bout with anaphylaxis since he was 10 months. Plus he loses things — two jackets already, and we’re in California so he hasn’t even had to wear a jacket for too long. His wonderful kindergarten teacher did agree to keep on in her desk, and she was super-conscious of the need to take it on a recent field trip, so we’re OK for now.

They also keep the asthma inhalers locked, and I know that’s contrary to California law. That change was made a few years back, after a kid died because no one could get to the locked inhaler. So, yes, I’ll definitely fight when he’s old enough.

Melissa: That the writer was somehow connected to the industry was my first though. Notice all those pro-peanut stats at the end? Here’s someone who’s concerned that Ms. Peanut-Allergy Nazi is going to blow a sweet government commodity deal with school systems.

I know people make up allergies, because, ironically, it’s happened in my house. One visitor used to demand that I put my dog outside when she came over because “she was allergic.” Uh, lady, if you were allergic you’d still be sneezing your head off because I can’t just put the dander outside. I know because I’m allergic to dogs and used to sneeze my head off when visiting my parents while on break from college. I only quit after getting a dog, which acting as a furry-four-legged daily injection.

Peanut butter and breast-milk smoothies — dang, why didn’t I think of that? Funny thing is, I have two kids: Exact same upbringing, one severely allergic, the other not. Guess that blows another one of the writer’s theories.

Sad thing is some idiot will read that crud and believe everything. It was horribly written, did the writer not even care to research both sides.

My favorites are:
*asthma and allergies are the same thing.
*washing hands is shameful
*the reason my child is allergic to peanuts is because I didn’t feed them to my child the first 6 months of life…WOW!!! I didn’t even know that scientist figured out the cause of allergies, thanks mystery writer for breaking the news to us, you are awesome! Of course now I feel bad I didn’t feed my girl breast milk and peanut butter smoothies.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The CDC figure about parents saying their kids have allergies that they don’t, is real. I used to work at a daycare and several parents thought their child had an allergy. When I asked if they had actually been tested, they said “no, it isn’t that bad.” It does a horrible disservice to us that have a child with an allergy that is “that bad,” because their lack of diligence results in caretakers, teachers, etc not taking the severity of allergies seriously.