The note appeared on my sidewalk toward the end of a horrid week — the next day, I was to leave a job and friendships I’d had for 10 years.

“”Please mow your lawn. We all work very hard to maintain our yards. If this does not improve, we will contact the city. You have two weeks for improvement. Your neighbors.”"And that was it.

No knock on the door, no polite (or even impolite) conversation. Just an anonymous threat.

“”Neighbors”" did have a point. I’d tried hiring four different people for yard work, but none showed up. I mowed the back myself but quit, wheezing, before I could get to the front.

Decent excuses, yes, but not justification for my unkempt yard. My gardening habits are not the issue, though. The real problem: The snarky witch smarted off to a bully, who then launched an onslaught aimed at putting her in her place.

It bugs me, because I don’t get why people have to be that way. Why strict adherence to rules is more important than compassion or empathy. Why enforcement is used, not to keep peace, but to bludgeon. Why bludgeoning is the first weapon some choose when offended.

I could have bludgeoned. I could have opted for martial enforcement on everything from garbage cans to aggressive dogs to excessive lawn watering.

I didn’t, because none of it was worth making someone’s life miserable — the anonymous “”neighbors”" knew the snark-o-gram would do just that. My former employer’s financial troubles have been well-documented in the local media because, well, I worked for the local media. I’d separated from my husband. All this on top of the normal load of a working mom. 9to5to9′s not just a blog title; if anything, it’s a light day.

The yard became a big deal a few months back, after an acquaintance invited himself over to share scripture. The conversation was pleasant, with a general theme of forgiveness, until he got to Ephesians 5:22: “”Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”"

“”How’d that work for you?”" I asked, knowing he was divorced. It was my big mistake — sarcastic wisecracks are a character flaw.

He launched into a blistering critique. You’re lazy, and the house is a mess, he said. When my kids were little, my house never looked like this. And the kitchen is terrible — I’d never eat anything cooked in here.

Tit for tat, I figured. I’d wounded him with a careless comment, so he had to poke me.

But the poking continued. Some was ridiculous — I was accused of bugging neighbors’ houses. Some was nit picky — complaints about the guys’ trikes, bikes and scooters in the front yard, even as other kids helped themselves to them in our absence.

Then came the anonymous note. Except I recognized the penmanship.

“”Neighbors,”" I’m sure you’ve noticed the lawn is taken care of, so that will save you a call to the city.

And I’ve been thinking a lot about forgiveness, too. I’ve grown fond of Ephesians 4:32:

“”And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another.”"

Copyright 2008 Debra Legg. All rights reserved.

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