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Three trips to Circuit City and I still don’t have a flat screen monitor

Submitted by on Friday, 1 August 2008 No Comment

When Little Guy woke up today with eye boogers gluing his lashes together, I knew he’d never make it through day care inspection. After the Great Pink Eye Plague of 06, the guards are vigilant on that issue.

When Big Guy woke up today and found out we were staying home, I knew he was going to nail me. I’d told him I would fix their computer Sunday — the monitor’s been flashing “”no signal”" for months — but never got to it.

“”If we’re not going to school, then you can fix it today!”" he smiled.

Oh, joy. I was hoping to spend more time with a computer, particularly a balky 1998-through-2001 model. Nevertheless, I agreed. What could it take, an hour, two at most? Might as well get it out of the way.

I tried the easiest option first, replacing the cable. The “”no signal”" message flashed again.

It’s probably the video card, I thought. I calculated the odds of finding a replacement for a system that old, and when the number came in smaller than Little Guy’s shoe size, I reconciled myself to buying a new computer.

“”Come on, guys. We’re going shopping.”"

It got them moving with minimal motivational speaking. So quickly that we got to Circuit City 15 minutes before it opened. We went to the Border’s next door to wait it out over chocolate milk and coffee, which I quickly sloshed all over my alleged bust line.

The doors finally opened and the salesman was quickly on my heels. I cut him off. “”I’m looking for the cheapest box you have,”" I said.

I wound up with the second-cheapest, plus a 17-inch flat monitor. And a 19-inch flat screen for me. I was tired of having a gorilla sprawling across of my desk and seeing all thus yummy taut bodies weakened me.

Out of the store in 20 minutes, back home, boxes opened, Styrofoam packing destroyed. I let Big Guy do the honors of plugging it in.

“”No signal”" the monitor flashed. Arrrrggggggghhh!! Not twice in one day.

I tried my new monitor. “”No signal,”" it insisted.

I pieced together the Styrofoam shreds, stuffed computer parts  in boxes and headed for Circuit City.

Any woman who’s ever ventured into a garage or computer store is familiar with the look I got when I toted the boxes, my coffee-stained self and the guys toward the customer service counter and said, “”This doesn’t work.”"

Big Guy danced and Little Guy whined as we waited an interminable 10 minutes. I avoided gloating out loud as the technician tried the hard drive in first one monitor and then another. “”I’ve never seen this before in my life on a brand-new computer. The video card’s dead,”" he conceded.

He gave me the option of replacing the card or the machine. Since Big Guy now was trying to strip, Little Guy had advanced to wailing and I reeked of French roast, I went for a new machine.

Back home, boxes opened, Styrofoam packing destroyed. Big Guy again did the honors.

“”No signal”" the monitor flashed at me. Arrrrggggggghhh!! Not three times in one day.

“”That’s it. I’m taking a nap,”" I told Big Guy, forcefully enough that he didn’t argue. He did, however, nudge me every 10 minutes to ask if it were time to get up.  An hour later, I gave up.

I tried my new monitor on the guys’ computer, and it worked. Dang it. I wanted that monitor!

Little Guy cut loose as soon as we hit Circuit City customer service. “”Don’t wanna be here!”" Big Guy continued his Chippendale imitation and I now smelled like stale coffee, but there was an advantage in all this. I made the trade and was out in 15 minutes.

They were out of the bargain-bin model I’d bought for the guys, so I spent an extra $40. It was worth it when I carried home a sleek Samsung. Nineteen inches. Yes!

Dinner and Reader Rabbit took up the rest of the evening, so Samsung remains in his box. I’ll live with the gorilla monitor one more night.

At least, I hope it’s only one more night. If I have to make one more trip this week to Circuit City, I think I’ll declare myself mayor.

Copyright 2008 Debra Legg. All rights reserved.

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