Big Guy’s weekly laundry death toll: Seven pairs of jeans, only two survive with both knees intact.

Had I known then what I know now, I would have invested heavily in Levi-Strauss stock five years ago. Not that he wears Levi’s — the way he shreds pants, I can’t afford them. Couldn’t even if I owned the company.

And I just bought four pairs of jeans a couple of months ago, about the same time I dug five size 4 regulars out of the “”save for Little Guy”" boxes after Big Guy outgrew his size 4 skinny butt models.

Sorry, Big Guy. I can no longer afford your kamikaze jumping habit without some sacrifice on your part. I’m going to have to resort to something I swore I would never, ever do to my children.

I am ready to hit Sears for some reinforced knee Toughskins. They cost a bit more than I usually spend, but I’m hoping they’ll last longer than two months.

On the bright side: They come in only black and blue these days, so Big Guy won’t have to worry about the embarrassment of rainbow-hued pants.

One particularly humiliating year, I went back to school with Toughskins in green, pink and lavender. That might explain why, to this day, I hate all three colors.

Copyright 2008 Debra Legg. All rights reserved.

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