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Home » 9to5to9, Big Guy's story

It’s always a bad hair day for Big Guy

Submitted by on Sunday, 13 July 2008 No Comment


Two years ago, Big Guy thought it was sweet that his grandmother had given him a special gift. But he was only 3 and newly in love with the idea of presents of any sort.

""Wasn't it nice of Mawmaw to give me a cowlick?"" he'd say.

Fast-forward to this summer, when the kiddie pool faces a sliding glass door and Big Guy has become obsessed with trying to tame the Dennis the Menace dip that tops his head. He'll pat, smooth and pound, only to have the thicket spring back the second his hair starts to dry.

""Is my cowlick straight down yet?"" he'll ask. Then, not trusting my opinion, he'll peer into the door-mirror again and begin another round of futile patting and smoothing.

Part of the problem now is a particularly bad hair cut -- and for the cowlick crowd, scissors that miss by a sixteenth of an inch can spell disaster.

Big Guy's hair has to be either buzzed microscopically enough that no individual hair can stand and be counted or left long enough that the cowlick sits down and shuts up. Anything in between is torturous, and the woman who cut his hair a few weeks ago refuses to accept that.

Which is why Big Guy grilled me again today about the gift from his grandmother.

""How did she give it to me? Did she come here and put it on me when I was a baby?""

""No, it's called genetics. It's something that came from Mawmaw to me to you. It's something you were born with.""

""What's genetics?""

""It's what makes up everything about us. Like your blue eyes. They're in my genes, too, and I gave them to you.""

""I can't wear your jeans. Your butt's way bigger than mine.""

Not realizing he'd just had a near-death experience, he switched to whine mode.

""It's just not right. Why did Mawmaw put a cowlick on me?""

I have to admit, he had a point. The guys could have inherited their father's family's perfect hair. Both dad and granddad have full heads of thick, well-behaved locks. Instead, Big Guy got my mother's cowlick and Little Guy's stuck with my unruly frizz bomb.

If they think it's bad now, just wait until they see what the future has in store. My brother has been moonlighting as a billiard-ball mold since he was 30, and my dad is down to curly fringe. I don't remember ever seeing either of my grandfathers with a full head of hair.

Ay, but Big Guy has no sense of history yet. He's only concerned with the hair and now.

""Mom, I want you go to buy Little Guy a cowlick today,"" he demanded. ""It's not fair that I have one and he doesn't.""

Copyright 2008 Debra Legg. All rights reserved.

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