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Home » 9to5to9, Big Guy's story

A news song for Big Guy to play over and over and over and …

Submitted by on Monday, 2 June 2008 No Comment
Originally published April 15, 2008, thehive.modbee.com

Kids love repetition.

Kids love repetitive repetition.

Big Guy loves repetitive repetition over and over and over again.

Which is why I’m happy we live in a one-story house. That way, it won’t hurt too badly when I jump out a window the next time I hear the opening chords of 3 Doors Down’s “Kryptonite.”

"If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman? If I’m alive and well, will you be there a-holdin’ my hand.”

If I go crazy? It’s rapidly becoming a question of when.

Big Guy’s latest obsession sprung from his longest-running preoccupation: Airplanes. He loves watching crashes on YouTube – which worries me, since he wants to be a pilot. I’m hoping that before someone lets him step in a cockpit, he’ll learn that most passengers prefer their jet not burst into flames.

Airplanes met super heroes when we found an MD-80 video with “Kryptonite” playing in the background.

It was the perfect song by any Big Guy standard – heavy guitar, thumping drums and Super Hero lyrics.

He loved the song so much he wanted to quit looking at airplanes and find out what “the concert players” look like. When he actually saw the 3 Doors Down video of the song, though, he didn’t get.

Frankly, I’m not sure I do either. Not that I care – I came up with my own interpretation of the song long ago and was not about to let some silly old video spoil it.

Big Guy, though, was confused.

“Why is Superman so old ? And why is he wearing a Batman outfit? And why is the Batman outfit green?”

Times like that, I simply cannot come up with answers quickly enough. So I took the coward’s way out, searching again and finding a version that, well, featured Superman.

The first one we found was animated, but cut off mid-song. Good for intellectual property rights, bad for Big Guy.

The next included the full song played under a series of stills. “Where’s the movie?” Big Guy asked.

Thirty-six seconds into it, though, this video became the winner. There he was, soaring over Superman’s right shoulder – Batman!

By the time Batman flitted across in two more cameos (including one at Superman’s funeral, thus reinforcing Mom’s world view that Batman is the ultimate Super Hero), Big Guy was sold.

Thus began a marathon. I lost count of the number of “Kryptonite” plays, but it went on for well over an hour. Sadly, Big Guy has mastered the slider on the videos and the replay button that pops up when the song ends.

“But I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon. I feel there’s nothing I can do, yeah.”

Nothing I could do but frantically search the medicine cabinet for ibuprofen.

Ordinarily, I would not let the same song play for an hour. And I definitely wouldn’t let him sit at a computer for that long. Except he quit sitting.

He scampered onto the bed, grabbed his air guitar and let it rip. Soon, he was belting lyrics – or, at least, the last word in each line, which was all he could manage. Little Guy joined in with his guitar, though Big Guy quickly reassigned him to the drums. The kid already has a good sense of rock-band hierarchy, and he wasn’t about to let his brother be the front man.

He’d wear himself out, jumping, yelling – er, I mean, singing – and playing and have to run out to the patio to cool off. Then he’d make a dramatic re-entrance. “The concert players are coming back. Get ready to clap!”

That was Friday. Today is Tuesday.

How long can it last? I fear the worst. His “Final Countdown" kick hung on all winter. At least I actually like “Kryptonite.”

Or, at least, I do today. Check back in a month.

Big Guy loves repetition.

Copyright 2008 Debra Legg. All rights reserved.

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