Originally published Jan. 31, 2007, thehive.modbee.com

With the guys, you gotta have a gimmick and, unfortunately, gimmicks have the lifespan of a housefly with them.

For two weeks, the chew-chew choo-choo was the perfect vehicle for chugging them down the hall and getting them going. It worked in the mornings and evenings.

Yesterday, boredom set in and it ceased to work at all. What to do now?

Fortunately, I remembered that it really annoys them when I sing. Not that I can blame them – at times, it’s hard to differentiate between me singing and the neighbor’s blue tick howling. Except the hound can stay on key at times.

Thus a new gimmick was born: Tune Torture.

Warning to any parent considering this strategy: I am not an international law expert, but I’ve heard Tune Torture is banned under the Geneva Conventions. The attorney general will not comment on whether it’s illegal.

The inspiration came as we were watching music videos, the guys’ reward tonight because they’d done great imitations of civilized human beings all evening.

Big Guy wanted something from “Lion King,” which later led us to the “Lion King II” theme, “He Lives in You.” </FONT></A> It’s a surprisingly good song considering that it’s from a straight-to-video movie – I think Tina Turner recorded a version, too, for a CD released between the two “Lion Kings” – and I felt guilty about slaughtering it.

Sometimes a mom gets desperate, though.

So tonight, as Big Guy launched his bedtime dawdle, I looked him square in the eye. “From now on, every time you start goofing off, I’m going to start singing.”

It drew an instant look of mock wide-eyed horror. “No, Mommy! Please don’t sing!” “No sing, no sing!” Little Guy chimed in, on the off chance I’d misunderstood Big Guy.

But as the toothbrushes came out, slow poking set in. “He lives in you …”

“No, Mommy! I’ll brush!”

Minutes later, he stopped. “He lives in me …”

“Please! I’ll really do it this time!”

Slight progress, but then nothing. “He watches over everything we see.”

Hey! My voice sounds even worse echoing through the bathroom!

“Into the water. Into the truth. …”

At this point, the guys were almost giggling too hard to brush. But they quickly finished and were off the bed before I could complete the chorus.

Best of all, we got it done with no tantrums and minimal fuss. I kind of like this.

“In your reflection, he lives in you.”

Copyright 2007 Debra Legg. All rights reserved.

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