Originally published Oct. 8, 2007, thehive.modbee.com

Little Guy was just not feeling it today.

It’s not that every part of Picture Day wasn’t a fascinating experience. The giant mushroom props were a blast, and “sneak behind the backdrop” was a great new game. And trying to crash into expensive photo equipment is always fun.

But when it came to actually sitting or standing still long enough for a picture — thanks, but not now. Big Guy, on the other hand, was angelic. Sat and posed nicely. The smile wasn’t even too goofy. Big Guy, however, is old enough to understand a bribe, and I was rolling out the heavy artillery. “If you be a good listener, we’ll stop by my office after pictures. And we’ll go to the donut shop after that.”

It was enough to keep the halo glistening all morning.

Little Guy was trouble from the second I got him dressed. Make that, got him dressed the first time. He proceeded to quickly pull a button off and run giggling through the house with his pants around his ankles. The he decided to have issues with his shoes. Must be his hillbilly genes, but in the time it took me to put on my own shoes, his were in the living room while he was in the kitchen, wearing his brother’s sandals.

He’d chilled out a bit by the time we got to school, and he probably would have been all right if I’d just had the sense to flee. It’s a game he likes to play lately. If Mom’s there during the hair cut, squirm, shriek and cry until the poor hair dresser can do nothing more than buzz the head. Quickly. If only Dad’s around, behave like a perfect gentleman.

In a bout of extreme stupidity, though, since it was my day off, I decided to wait for the pictures. Next time, I’ll at least leave the room, if not the state.

The photographer was a trouper, pulling out every trick from a squeaky bird to a stuffed monkey to “look how nice your brother is sitting.” And the more Little Guy acted up, the more Big Guy was determined to be the mature, older brother. “Come on, brother. Just sit with me for a minute!” At least I still had one of them on my side. You never know – this one can go either way.

Absolutely nothing worked with Little Guy. She finally was able to snap off one frame of both of them and one shot of Little Guy alone, but that was it. Game over. Take me to the donuts.

I can’t wait to see these proofs. Maybe I should go ahead and order some nice tins of popcorn for Christmas presents.

And Big Guy’s halo? The horns propping it up finally appeared around 3, when he decided it would be a laugh riot to dump a bowl of popcorn all over the living room. The corn storm became a lot less funny when he got to help clean up his mess.

Copyright 2007 Debra Legg. All rights reserved.

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